Roanoke

This place is a total shithole. It’s basically a bunch of concrete and dishevelled shit orbiting around one giant strip mall in the middle of nowhere. The fanciest restaurant in town is the Olive Garden where tonite I paid someone $18 to thaw out some shrimp and dump it over noodles. The only place with any potential is Thelma’s Chicken & Waffles – a diner across the street which might at least offer some local culture…and I use the word “culture” loosely.

Not only is the town shit, but so are the accomodations. I’m in a “prostitute hotel.” You know, the kind where the doors open directly to the outside. Apparently hallways are a luxury reserved for establishments that dont rent by the hour. Ok, i haven’t seen any prostitutes yet but this is the sort of place where I would imagine such things occur. In my own defense, i will point out that i didn’t choose this establishment over a real hotel…there apparently ARE no real hotels in Roanoke. This is not surprising since the only two events that occur here are the bar exam and the Jehovah’s witness convention. I only hope i can manage to sleep without the bedspread touching any part of my body. Thankfully I brought my own pillow. Furthermore, the “carpet” looks like that stuff on a putt-putt golf course. Ok enough griping. I should study.

Pending return

I am currently on hiatus from the blogworld while i study for the VA bar exam and hopefully become licensed in VA so that i will be eligible for rejection by employers in yet another jurisdiciton. I digress. Upon return the following topics shall be investigated with varying levels of thoroughness..

1) whether its possible to vacuum a cat

2) use of the phrase “where do you stay at?” and whether it it primarily indicative of transient existence or flagrant disregard for rules against dangling participles or both.

3) vegans

4) whether intelligence is related to success and how best to define professional success

5) behaviors appropriate for post-college aged persons and why beer-pong and bud lite are not amongst them

6) james traficant

7) the obsession with Warner Brothers characters among latinos

Bush’s G8 gaffes

Bush confuses Italy with Spain http://digg.com/world_news/At_G8_Bush_Calls_Italian_Prime_Minister_Amigo
Bush’s farewell at G8 “goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.” Wow. Some claim to fame ‘eh? http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/2277298/President-George-Bush-’Goodbye-from-the-world’s-biggest-polluter’.html

If America were a dog, Florida would be tucked between its legs right about now. 1/20/09 can’t come fast enough

W’s 10 Worst (only 10?!?)

http://www.alternet.org/election08/89686/?page=entire

Pre-emptive patriotism or pyromania?

The good news is that those rapid fire explosions were not gun shots. They are fireworks. They started in early June and have continued since. It’s not a weekend thing, its an almost every nite thing. It appears that my ‘hood is either incredibly patriotic or into pyrotechnics. Having had a rather naive suburban childhood I had no idea that fireworks provided such entertainment for denizens of “up and coming” urban neighborhoods. These little cultural nuances are kinda fascinating really. Though I do miss the sound of crickets at night, i’ll take my ‘hood over suburbia anyday…fireworks and all.

my date and i both wore turtlenecks…

but his was on his penis. And so begins my journey into the world of intact foreskin.

ps.

all italian words sound like types of pasta (sorry italians). but really, i was listening to an italian news broadcast and it sounded like this…”macaroni spaghetti linguine Hillary Clinton rotini lasagne Obama…” It was like carb-loading.  Suddenly i wanted to go for a run…

i smell like rosemary infused steak

they keep telling me to do it…and so i am. by “they” i mean coworkers and by “it” i mean write a blog. yesterday i decided my calling in life is to be a critic of stuff. surely the analytical skills gained in law school will come in handy, as will my knowledge and appreciation of the aforemention “stuff.” unlike food and film critics, i plan to apply my critical eye to all the world…sans limitation. why dis some stuff when you can dis it all right? i mean really, that banana bread might be a tad on the dry side but if the douchebag of the day is rick santorum then get off the foodie bandwagon and aim your critical missiles at congress! i digress….time to study. property and contracts anyone? no. yeah i didnt think so